KAROLINE LEAVITT’S QUALIFICATIONS TO BE PRESS SECRETARY

Dye her hair blonde and have plastic surgery in order to look like the army of MAGA media zombie women.

Evince hyperventilation as she accuses Trump’s political opponents and his victims of malfeasance.

Play victim the moment her lies are exposed.

Like shameless and incessantly. Pepper your lies with “frankly,” the way that Trump does.

Wear a crucifix necklace at all times.

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